- You see a Prius with a Jesus Fish on the back. There is no way this person can be a Christian. I'm pretty sure that the only people who drive a Prius are those who eat granola, attempt to wear frayed pants to Campus Church, and voted for Al Gore in the last 4 elections.
- You see a person bringing a vegetable tray to the youth group game night. It is my understanding that if you go back to the original Greek, there is a prohibition on vegetable trays found in the Book of Acts. Of course, this has been left out of the Authorized Translation because the English can be used to correct the Greek.
- You realize that the person in front of you took the last piece of fried chicken at the church anniversary dinner. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
- You see someone coming out of the movie theater as you are going in. You know that the movies is a den of iniquity and you are only there to find out just how bad things have gotten.
- The person next to you in church wakes you up with his snoring. Everyone knows that the church pew is extremely comfortable. If he was really considerate, he would snore at home so you can get some rest. Good grief, is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure you are questioning my salvation for writing this list, just as I am questioning yours for reading it. Aren't you glad we have a God who saves regardless of what we do (Ephesians 2:8-9)?